so this year has been a bit Not Good thus far, to put it mildly. broken feet and council rejections aside, there other things i should probably sit down and journal about that i don't really want to, because that means having to think about it and deal with the fact that it's actually happening. i don't know if i'll be ready to do that until things ( Read more... )

it's been a rough couple of weeks emotionally. after almost a solid year of being jerked around and letting it happen, of ups and downs and what the fucks and why is shes, of ridiculousness like this, it's been made very clear to me that i no longer exist to her. that me and my friendship mean so little that the prospect of us never talking again ( Read more... )

everything always seems so much more dire when you're sick. we had our first casualty to the program this quarter (which--i didn't even know we would have any) and it's just driving home the idea that that's an option ( Read more... )

feeling inexplicably grateful tonight. i was just watching the rewrite, and it's somehow terrible and charming all at once, as most hugh grant movies are wont to be, and jk simmons played a principal who got all weepy every time he started talking about his family. which was so gimmicky, and made me roll my eyes every time they trotted it out, but ( Read more... )

it's hard to get used to going again when you've gotten used to... not ( Read more... )

i have been in evanston a little under two weeks, and tonight will already be the second night i've cried so hard that i will wake up with horrifically puffy eyes in the morning ( Read more... )

okay. deep breath. reliving this experience is going to be pretty painful, but i'm tempering it with shopping sprees and disneyland, so hopefully that will even the score out. early wednesday morning we headed out to the livermore outlet mall, prepped for a couple of hours of bargain hunting. how wrong we were. my aunt is the best kind of person to ( Read more... )

i just got waitlisted for rush university, which was basically my back up school and also the lowest-ranked school on the (on hindsight, too short) list of schools i applied for ( Read more... )

people can be so tricky.

i don't know what made me think i would ever be equipped to handle that. like i'm ever going to be the person who knows all the right things to say. i mean, if you know me at all, i think you know i'm not that girl. i'm nowhere close. i'd like to be, but i just--really suck at words. especially when it counts ( Read more... )

it's been ages since i wrote in this and it's mostly because nothing happens in my life ( Read more... )